Myth Number
1
Adoption is irresponsible. Since I got myself into this situation, I should
be responsible for taking care of this baby.
 Truth
Yes, you are responsible for taking care of the
baby. You are responsible for feeding, clothing and providing
shelter for your child. But there is more...you are responsible for
providing a loving, nurturing and emotionally secure environment. Emotional
security for children is rooted in a loving relationship from his mommy
and daddy. If you are not in a position to meet all of these needs yourself,
you can provide an adoptive family for your child who has been preparing
for parenthood for a long time. Adoption is a
responsible choice of caring for your baby by finding a family for him/her
if you cannot provide what you feel is best right now.
Myth Number
2
People who choose adoption for their baby are cold, heartless and selfish.
Truth
A mother who chooses adoption for her baby has to carry her baby in
her womb for 9 months. She has nurtured that child and has bonded with
that child. For a woman to place her baby in the arms of another is
one of the most painful acts of selflessness
known. She can only do so out of ultimate love for their child in hopes
of providing for him or her the family and life she believes her child
deserves.
Myth Number
3
Placing my child for adoption would be too painful. I could never do that.
Truth
Yes, it is painful for most people to place
a child in an adoptive home. It should never be entered into lightly.
However, just as there is pain in childbirth and there have been many
a woman exclaim on the delivery table, “I
can’t do this! I want to go home!” There is great
joy for her in seeing and holding the beautiful creation of a child.
So it is with adoption; alongside the pain
of delivering your child into the arms of another family, comes
the joy of seeing a family created - and your child thriving
and loved by both his birthfamily and his adoptive family.
Myth Number
4
Adoptive parents could never love an adopted child as much as a birthparent.
 Truth
Couples do not adopt on a whim.
They truly want a child to love and nurture. Adoptive
parents are required to go through an extensive screening process before
they are permitted to adopt a child. The screening process for adoptive
couples is very intrusive. Among other things, agencies look for couples
who have a sincere love for children. They must attend adoption education
seminars. They must endure long interviews, a home study, criminal background
checks, financial reviews and submit several references. A couple would
not allow such intrusion into their lives if they weren't serious about
wanting a baby to love. Once that child is in their arms, the
amazing bonding proceeds as it does for biological parents. To
know more about the adoption process that couples go through, visit
APO’s site for adoptive families at www.aggielandadoptions.org
Myth Number 5
If I choose adoption for my child, he will grow up to hate me and think
I didn’t love him.
Truth
In open adoption, you can show your child the love you have for him.
You can visit, and send cards, letters and gifts. He need never doubt.
He can have his questions answered and truly see the loving act of adoption.
He can have the freedom to love both his adoptive parents and his birthparents.
Myth Number
6
Adopted children grow up to have emotional and behavioral problems.
Truth
In times past, adopted children had many unanswered questions about
their adoptions. For some, this was a cause of problems. For others,
their questions were nothing more than questions. They remained secure
and confident in the love from their adoptive families. When an adopted
child has problems, folks around them are quick to point their finger
at adoption as the cause. Perhaps it is because adoption becomes the
scapegoat for other underlying problems (school bullies, family dynamics,
learning disabilities, etc.)
 Look
at what some of the research shows: 1
Adopted adolescents exhibit more self-esteem and self-confidence, and
feel more secure in their families than children from single-parent
families.
Adopted adolescents experience depression less than children of single
parents and they are less likely to abuse alcohol and engage in theft,
vandalism, group fighting and weapon use.
Adopted children do better academically and have a better economic situation
than children from single-parent homes.
Myth Number
7
Adoption is totally against God’s will and plan for families.
Truth
Adoption is mentioned in a positive light throughout the Bible.
Moses: Jocabed found
an adoptive home for her son, Moses with the daughter of the Pharoah
of Egypt. Moses’ life was in danger when his mother placed him
in a basket and floated him down the river. She grieved her loss,
but her heroic act allowed Moses to be raised in the palace as the
adopted son of Pharoah’s daughter. His life in the palace prepared
him to be the leader of God’s people, the Israelites. (Exodus
2:10)
Samuel: Hannah committed
her son, Samuel, to the Lord’s service after he was weaned (around
age 3 or 4.) Samuel grew up in the temple with the priest named Eli
as his father. Hannah took new clothes to him every year. Samuel became
a great leader for the nation of Israel. (I Samuel 1)
Jesus: God provided
an earthly father, Joseph, for Jesus. God told Joseph to take Mary
as his wife and to name the child. Naming a child was the awesome
responsibility of the father. Joseph assumed the role of Jesus’
earthly father fully and completely. (Matthew 1:18-25)
Christians: God, the
heavenly father, established the institution of the family and the
importance of fatherhood. He has declared Himself to be the Heavenly
Father of those who call upon His name (see How
Can I Know God.) In Romans 8:15 the Bible says, “...but
you have received the spirit of adoption as sons, by which we cry
out, “Abba (daddy), Father.”
For more, click Conclusion
Contact
Us
Back to
Top
1. Connaught Marshner, ed., Adoption Fact
Book III, (Washington: National Council for Adoption, 1999), p.3.
|
