Adoption Stories

Pam's Story

   Adoption is near and ear to my heart because I was adopted. I was adopted at birth by a couple from a tiny town in central Texas. That I was adopted was never a secret and always felt special because my parents told me that I was chosen. I had both sets of grandparents close by and a community of people who loved and supported me.

     There is a certain amount of curiosity that goes with being adopted - Where did I come from, why was I given up, do I have brothers and sisters, will someone ever look for me, do I want to look, and the list goes on and on. My curiosity was strong but not strong enough to compel me to search until later in my adult life. The biggest reason I didn't search was that I loved and respected my parents so much that I didn't want them to feel threatened by anything I did. I also did not want to interfere in the lives of my birth family.

     As a mid-40's adult I did search and I found my birth family. I carefully thought through my decision and was certain that I could deal with whatever I found. I also decided that I could back off if members of my birth family wanted it that way. My birth mother was dead and I found that I have 3 sisters and 5 brothers. Four of those were raised by our birth mother and as I talked to them and shared experiences from out lives I was reminded very strongly of how fortunate I truly am to have been adopted. I am sure it was not an easy decision for my birth mother but it was the best for me. I can only think that the hand of God was upon her as she made that difficult decision. I am the only one of the children who has a college degree and life for me has been really good. I have a wonderful husband, three children, and a job I love. I did not have to endure the growing pains and difficulties that my brothers and sisters did. My "reunion" with them has been a positive experience for me and for them as well.

     There have been many changes in the face of adoption over the years of my life. Many single mothers choose to keep their children and an unfortunate number choose to abort the pregnancies. If I could give a message to young women in a crisis pregnancy it would be to very seriously consider adoption as an option. It will give your child an opportunity to be raised in a loving and supportive home. Many agencies offer "open" adoption as a choice. The birth mother is able to participate fully in the process and know something about the family that will raise her child. Conversely, as the child gets older and becomes curious about who he/she is and where he/she came from there are measures in place for that curiosity to be satisfied. It seems to be a win/win situation for all members of the adoption triad-child, birth parents, and adoptive parents.

     Adopted people are like anyone else - he/she could be your doctor, your teacher, your pastor, or even your best friend. Adoption gave me the opportunity to grow up in a Christian environment, to receive and education, but most of all to be loved and cared for in the manner that all children deserve.

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