Single Parenting
 Single
parenting is becoming a very accepted pregnancy option in our world
today. It does not carry the social stigmas it once did.
Although the majority of
women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy choose single parenting,
it is not a choice to be entered into lightly.
In
all decision making regarding an unplanned pregnancy, it is important
to think about the years to come as well as the immediate future.
What
is best for the baby now and in the future?
What is best for the mother and father over the years as well?
What
kind of questions would be helpful to think through as you consider becoming
a single parent?
Do you have
a place for you and your baby to live?
What financial resources do you have?
What do you
hope to be doing in five years?
How can you foresee your future in 5 or 10 years if you choose to parent
your child?
Have you finished
your education? Is that important to you?
What type of
career do you want?
Do you enjoy
going out with friends?
Do you enjoy dating?
Do you hope to be married one day?
Do you have a support
system of family or friends ?
We find that family and friends often say, while you are pregnant, that
they are eager to baby sit and help you out.
 Ask
these questions to see if that will be a reality:
-
Do their schedules allow them to care for your child?
-
How would you feel about them
sacrificing on your behalf?
-
How do
they feel about helping when your child is
a two year old or a 10 year old?
Now let's consider the children
of single parents. We know that there are some terrific single parents
out there with some happy, well adjusted children. We also know that there
are some dismal statistics about single parent families.
Here is what
some research reveals about the children of single parents:
-
These children are six
times more likely to live in poverty than those who grow up with
two parents. 1
-
Children whose moms receive
welfare are more likely to go to bed hungry. 2
-
Children of single parents
have a 77 and 87 percent greater risk of being harmed by physical
abuse and physical neglect respectively. 3
-
Children of single parents
have more behavioral problems and lower mathematical and reading
ability than children raised in two-parent homes.
4
The statistics regarding abuse
and neglect are staggering. It is quite easy for a single-mom to become
overwhelmed with life and give less and less of her physical and emotional
energy to the child. This can be the beginning of child abuse and neglect.
What
are a few characteristics you might see in successful single parenting?
Strong physical
and emotional support from extended family.
A male figure
who is in the child's life on a daily basis.
Dependable and
adequate income.
A mom who is
very nurturing, very patient, and who operates well on little sleep.
A mom who can
successfully juggle school and/or work with her parenting responsibilities.
A mom who is
willing to sacrifice an active social life.
When you come for counseling at Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach, we can explore
these further as you look at your emotional and financial readiness to
be a parent. 
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us
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- Pat Fagan, " How
Broken Families Rob Children of their Chance for Future Prosperity,"
Heritage Backgrounder, No.1 June 11, 1999.
- Denise F. Polit, Andrew
S. London, John M. Martinez, : Food Security and Hunger in Poor, Mother-Headed
Families in Four cities" ( Project on Devolution and Urban Change,
Manpower Demonstration Research Corporation, 2000), p.2.
- U.S. Department
of Health and Human Services, The Third National Incidence Study
of Child Abuse and Neglect ( Washington: Government Printing
Office, 1996), p.xviii.
- Jay Teachman et al., "Sibling
Resemblance in Behavioral and Cognitive Outcomes: The Role of the
Father Presence, " Journal of Marriage and the Family"
60 (1998): 835-848.
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